Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without a laugh-out-loud joke before your turkey dinner. We have been busy compiling the top 40 cracker jokes of the year, with them ranging from the hilarious to the harrowing. An earlier version of this story appeared on Wales Online. By Mike Smallcombe Reporter. Never miss a big story in Cornwall again with our daily newsletter Sign me up! When you subscribe we will use the information you provide to send you these newsletters. Our Privacy Notice explains more about how we use your data, and your rights. You can unsubscribe at any time. Thank you for subscribing See our privacy notice.
These are the top 50 worst Christmas cracker jokes ever
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The jokes were then whittled down by a panel of Gold judges and voted for by 2, people, who decided which ones should make the top He said: “I’m totally amazed and can’t believe it! I now hope twerking becomes a new Christmas tradition – are you listening Nan?
has been voted the most groan-inducing Christmas cracker joke EVER, according to What happened to Santa when he went speed dating?
A mince spy! A poll of 2, Brits revealed that one in five selected the festive rib-tickler as the cringiest joke ever pulled out of a traditional Christmas cracker. A Christmas quacker! They were two deer. But it also emerged that despite such weak gags, the pull of Christmas crackers remains strong for Brits, with three quarters admitting they enjoy reading out the jokes over Christmas dinner.
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Top Twenty Cringeworthy Christmas Cracker Jokes
With their Do-you-think-he-sauruses and the mushroom who’s a fun guy to be with, Christmas cracker jokes have been inducing groans over the gravy for decades. But now comedian Richard Woolford has dragged them into with a new addition to the canon: “What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? It’s a cheering moment for the amateur comedian who has returned to the stand-up fray following a cancer battle.
What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?
What happened to Santa when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker; Who’s Rudolph’s favourite singer? Beyon-sleigh; Who delivers.
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The worst Christmas cracker jokes revealed
Christmas dinner. The Queen’s Speech. All staple parts of Christmas Day, and the day would not be the same without them. There are many other traditions which make Christmas pretty special, including trimming the tree, decking the halls but there is one thing that you cannot escape and that is Christmas cracker jokes. Love them or hate them, they provide a degree of entertainment throughout the festive season – especially on Christmas Day.
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11 Glasgow Christmas cracker jokes to cheer you up this festive season
A pun about controversial popstar Miley Cyrus has topped the list of our favourite new festive gags in a competition to modernise the traditional Christmas cracker joke. Also staking a claim in the Top 10 are witticisms about the Queen, speed dating and eBay, with laughs about Harry Styles, Shakespeare and Fairy Liquid just missing out on the top spots. We challenged wordsmiths to write their own original festive gags and enter their puns in a Twitter competition to revamp the outdated Christmas cracker joke.
New cracker jokes include gags about Miley Cyrus, the Queen and Harry Styles. Other modern witticisms about the Queen and speed dating also made it in the top ten, with laughs ‘Alternative Santa’: A Christmas poem.
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Top 90 Best (or Worst) Christmas Cracker Jokes
Twerky” has topped a list of favourite new festive jokes for Christmas Crackers. The pun about the pop star and her gyrating stage act got nearly a quarter of all votes beating “Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer” to second place. Other modern witticisms about the Queen and speed dating also made it in the top ten, with laughs about Harry Styles, Shakespeare and Fairy Liquid just missing out on the top spots. Comedy channel Gold challenged comedians to write their own original festive jokes and submit them via Twitter for a competition to revamp the Christmas cracker joke.
My jokes are too rude?
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They’re the kind of festive one liners that will be inside crackers – and they’re either gonna make you howl or scowl. We’re less than a month away from Christmas so the festive spirit is already sweeping across the country. There’s just a couple of weeks left until December 25th which means we’ll soon be buying last minute gifts and helplessly trying to decorate a six food tree whilst listening to Wham!
Then there’s the massive food shop to be done, and that’s before you’ve even attempted wrapping presents with the distraction of little ones or four legged friends. So before the demands of the holiday season get you down, take a few minutes out of your day to read some arguably funny jokes that will only ever be good enough for a Christmas cracker.
Here at North Wales Live we’ve compiled a list of 50 of the best and worst one liners that your Uncle Dave will likely use on the big day. If you think you can do better, let us know your joke in the comments below – but keep it clean please! What’s On. When you subscribe we will use the information you provide to send you these newsletters. Our Privacy Notice explains more about how we use your data, and your rights. You can unsubscribe at any time.